God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle... Oh Really?

Written by Melissa

A friend of mine - actually, a friend I've known longer than any other, since we met when were merely months old - sent me the most affirming article I've read since Ariana was born. Andrea, my friend, is a Lutheran pastor, as is her husband, Nathan - they blog about their life together, the lives of her three precious girls, and their faith. Andrea has been among the few people that has been accepting and understanding of my anger with God. Isn't it fascinating that a pastor is okay with my questioning and wavering? Well, it must be in the pastoral wine because yesterday Andrea sent me a blog post by a man who is also a pastor (of a Reformed Church in Fishers, Indiana), whose words just spoke to me - well, sung to me, really. I wanted to scream, "Hallelujah," for the first time in ever!

It is entitled, Confronting the Lie: God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle. The title alone had me hooked. The author began with a paragraph describing the tragic past three weeks he'd experienced - ridden with illness, pain, suffering, and frustration. He went on to say, "I have had enough." I can empathize. In fact, this past year, I've had more empathy in my heart than almost any other emotion. I am touched by nearly everyone else's traumas and tragedies. Stories that used to only upset me in the moments upon hearing them now affect me for weeks, sometimes months, on end. But I digress...

In his darkest hour, this pastor didn't apologize for asking God, "Why?", "Why not step in?", "Why not act?" Quite conversely, he said it was courageous to ask! That's something new - something I hadn't heard before. Course, he wants those that dare to ask to also be courageous enough to wait for the answer. The pastor went on to imply that it's highly unlikely an answer will come. Indeed, that's the tough pill to swallow.

Still, the mere fact that the pastor cried foul (well, to use his word, "bullshit") when hearing the much-touted phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle," gives him a permanent spot on my blog roll! While I initially gasped at a pastor's use of profanity, I then immediately wondered why I was so surprised. He's human, after all. He's now lived through pretty serious trauma - more than he can bear. Of course he thinks the everyday, Christian go-to expression, "God won't give you more than you can handle," is bullshit. So do I! He went on to explain that biblically it's not even supported.

Hallelujah!

Much to the contrary, the pastor believes it is when we are at our weakest, when we have had enough, that God will step in. He expects it, actually. I remain undecided.

Another long-time friend of mine, Emily, who I've known for 28 of my 35 years sent me this image today via text.

Seems all too coincidental - and again, a perfect use of profanity coupled with this profane phrase.

Thirty-Five

Written by Melissa

Today I am thirty-five years old. And when I woke up to post a message on Twitter of a rain location for an event at work, I learned of all the happenings of last evening. I was immediately alerted to the horror that Bostonians are living. I was then saddened by the fear they must be feeling. I spoke a bit with Andrew about what was going on. He quickly began to read for himself all about the manhunt that now ensues. Then Asa came downstairs, crawled in bed, and Andrew said, "Happy Birthday." I had forgotten all about it - and that's a first for me. Asa's eyes lit up, "It's your birthday, Mom. And I'm still not going to tell you about your surprise." He's been holding out on me for 24 hours. Pretty good for a four-year-old.

I've lived through a couple other tragic events that took place on my birthday. In 1993, the Waco seige concluded after 51 days as a fire (whose origin is controversial) engulfed the Mount Carmel Center ranch killing 76 - this after 4 ATF agents had been shot and killed in the attempts to arrest David Koresh. Two years later, citing the Waco incident as motivation, Timothy McVeigh detonated a truck full of explosives into a federal building in Oklahoma that killed 168 and wounded hundreds.

I've also now lived through my own personal tragedies, but none more impactful than this past year. I wouldn't wish this year on anyone I love or even those I don't. But with all tragedies, as Andrew would say, "you gotta see the silver lining."

For Boston, the silver lining was the amazing folks that rushed to help those that were down from the blast on Monday and the diligent police work that has already led to the identity of the bombers. For me, the silver lining is the amazing folks that have rushed to me when I have been down. This birthday is not really about me. It's about the awesomeness that is my family. And my family is far more than the one I was born into. It's the chosen ones - those that I chose and those that chose me. This past year was hard, but it was also precious. My family grew - in number and in love. In my loss, I also gained many remarkable people that I now call family - Ariana's parents, Ariana's grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, and friends. And in my loss, I also gained stronger bonds and deeper connections with the people who I already called my family - my husband, my children, my parents, my brothers, my sisters-in-law, etc., and my friends/sisters-at-heart.

Today, I am thirty-five years old. And despite (or maybe in spite of) all tragedies, I can still see the silver lining. I am thankful for that. Happy birthday to me.

Animated A's

Written by Melissa

It's nice to see what the kids are doing in action! Enjoy some recent videos. Ariana is taking her first dip and Asa is exploring his love of food!

Videos by Heather and Melissa

Easter

Written by Heather

What a wonderful, joyous occasion! We were so blessed to have brought Ariana back to Atlanta Saturday for the annual Easter Egg Hunt. She obviously was happy, relaxed, and comfortable in the midst of her loved ones. Family and friends enjoyed each other, great food, and a beautiful, warm, sunny day. The love and support of this village is so readily apparent. Jim and I could not only feel all of the love for Ariana, but felt it for ourselves as well. We are so thankful to all!

God has blessed us beyond all of our dreams and we could not be happier. During Easter Mass on Sunday morning, I sat listening to the sermon and realized my own recent resurrection. It started the day we decided to open our hearts to new possibilities in starting our famiy. It has been a slow progression, but over these past few months, and culminating this weekend, it is now apparent to me. God's love and strength is available for all, the weak, the diseased, the downtrodden. All we need do is look up and open ourselves to  His grace. He has taken me from near hopeless and closed off to a new life. One full of hope, love, and gratitude for the precious life He has given us. Praise be to God!