Written by Jim and Heather
Well, we try to plan our lives, but turns out we are not in
charge. They just happen how they are suppose to, and we can accept it or
not. When Jim and I got married, we thought we would just start our
family and that was that. After a couple months of trying, I already
started to worry. I was told that was normal, I was young, there was
nothing to worry about, and nothing wrong with either of us. After a
couple years I decided to try some hormone therapy. I also tried
chiropractic care and acupuncture. We each individually felt at
fault and alone, but never really talked about it.
I always had adoption in the back of my mind, even
before we married. We had talked about it on and off, but something kept
holding us back. Finally one day my friend, Carrie told us about someone
she knew who would adopt her baby to us. We were excited, but
hesitant. But the closer it got, the more excited we got. We hired
a lawyer, and while trying to set up counsel for her up north, we started
feeling resistance. About a week before her due date, we received a call
that she would keep the baby. We knew the person, and that it was an
unstable situation, so cannot say we were surprised. We grieved just
briefly, then went back to business as usual; just a married couple with no
kids.
But we figured there must be a reason, what was
God trying to tell us. So we looked into a local adoption agency. We got started right away, and were told we were the only couple he was working
with. At the time, that was great news! We thought it would not
take long at all. That was late 2008. A couple opportunities came
and went. In March 2010, we were now getting close, there was a great
possibility he felt good about. Still we decided to be reserved. We
did not decorate, would not allow any baby showers. But we prayed and
prayed, and it seemed our dream would come true when we got to go to the
hospital to meet the baby boy born on March 31st (Jim's dad's birthday). The nurse said they had been waiting for us. That made us wonder why we
did not get called earlier, as we had been anxiously waiting all day. Anyway
they had a room for us and brought the baby in. A beautiful, dark haired
baby boy with a birthmark on his head. We decided to name him Michael
Paul. We took pictures on our phones to send family, started feeding and
changing him, and just trying to bond. It was late in the evening. We spent about 4 hours in the hospital, then went home to get some rest. The next morning we hurried off to pick up some needed items at the
store. Jim put the car seat in the car and we were off. When we got
to the hospital, they asked us about circumcision and we signed for it to be
done. A couple hours later we were told the baby was discharged,
and we were taught care for the surgical site. We needed to wait though
for the caseworker and to make sure the release paperwork was in order. It was evening by the time he got there, and as we were enjoying our little
boy, he went next door to talk to the birth-mother, who we hoped to meet before
leaving. When he returned, he was hesitant. He said she was not
sure and her estranged mother was now in the picture. So we went home
scared, and were told he would call us in the morning. That was Good
Friday, and the news we received was heartbreaking. Jim busied himself
out in the yard, and I don't even remember anything but tears. After not
hearing anything back from the adoption agency, we decided they were not doing
all they could for us. Later that month we found Bethany ChristianServices and decided to try again.
After working to strengthen our marriage, Jim's
dad moving in with us, trainings and loads of probing paperwork, we were back
on track. Finally in July 2012, we were approved. Something we took
for granted would be so easy, and 10 years of our marriage later, we finally
hoped to get somewhere. Thankfully, our faith and trust in God's plan for
us was keeping us strong. Instead of being depressed or angry (though
there were brief bouts of both), we believed God must have a very special plan
for us that He was preparing us for.
Of course, now we know that was exactly the
case. Jim's dad, Ben passed away on August 6th. He so wanted to see
us have children, and to have a grandchild of his own. Before he passed
he told me, "at least I'll be able to do something for you when I'm gone". And he got right to work. We know Ariana's path is not what anyone
planned, anyone but God. His plan for her is bigger and more perfect than
any of us can imagine.
About the time of her birth, we found out about
the 40 days for life campaign. Prayer, fast and vigil to end
abortion. It would run from September 26-November 4th. We decided
to get involved. It seemed like a good outlet for our prayers-to not
concentrate so much on ourselves for a change. In the back of my mind, I
knew it would lead to opportunity. On October 5th, we received an email
from Mark at Bethany. He was giving information on a baby girl in
Atlanta, to see if there was any interest. Tears came to my eyes as I
read the information and I immediately went to the PRISMS website. We had
gotten similar emails previously. I was unsure whether we were capable of
handling a special needs baby, but lately I had felt guilty for not at least
looking into it. Maybe that was God's plan for us all along, and we
needed to be open to it. Jim had been working, and I told him I was
excited to show him something when he got home. So that evening, we both
read through the information. It was a bit scary to say the least, and we
were certainly not sure; but we decided to leave it in God's hands, and
we sent our profile off to Atlanta.
On October 18th we were told that Ariana's
birth-parents wanted to meet us, and a Skype interview was set up for the
following Thursday. Our hearts skipped many beats, we were so
excited. Could this really be it? Still, we told very few people
about the situation. That Thursday morning, once the technical kinks were
worked out, a new relationship started to grow. It was something we never
imagined and would probably not have been open to with anyone else. We
felt an immediate connection with Melissa and Andrew and could easily see how
much they loved Ariana. This could be a beautiful, amazing
situation. That weekend we drove to Atlanta to meet everyone in
person. Going to dinner with Andrew and Melissa was like being with old
friends. The time passed so effortlessly, and we finally got to see some
pictures of Ariana. The next morning we got to meet Ari and Asa in
person, and decided to hammer out all the details of this family we would
build, our new normal. We drove back
home overjoyed and in love with all that would be in store, thanking God for
the wonderfully enormous blessing.
We know God has serious plans for Ariana, not just
who she will be, but more importantly how her life will impact others. It
is obvious to us how this large, extended family created will help her do
that. And we are so glad for all of the love and support this wonderful,
large family offers her. We are excited to be able to keep everyone up to
date on her miraculous life, and how she is changing ours.
An updated and more detailed story of our new normal can be found on this post dated 2/28/13.
