The Latest Addition to The A Team

Written by Melissa

So, it's been a while since my last post - I got a little encouragement from a friend to update the blog. So, you should know I haven't taken a summer hiatus. Nope, instead, I've been on maternity leave!!! That's right - the latest addition to The A Team is Axel Charles Zbeeb, born June 11, 2014 at 8 lbs 15 oz and 20 1/4 in. Today, Axel is six weeks old. Time flies... and it also stands still. You know what I mean! "They" say the first month is the hardest, but if you know me, I'd say everyday is pretty tough. Parenting is the hardest job on earth. I'm so lucky to be doing as part of a team!

I went into Piedmont Hospital on 6/11 to be induced. The boy was quite content in the womb, but at nine days late, Mama was ready to meet him (past ready). As with most inductions, mine went super fast --- and also super painful. I didn't know it, but I was going to have this baby naturally. I went in to induction already 4 cm dilated. I should've asked for the drugs immediately! Instead, I thought, "I'll just see how far I can go and call in the anesthesiologist in a bit." Well, I wasn't prepared for how quickly I'd progress and how intense the pain would get... after laboring for only a little over two hours, I asked for an epidural. About 45 minutes later, I received it - and the damn thing DIDN'T WORK!!! Say what?! I was squeezing Nana's hand so hard she was turning blue. I kept saying, "He's got to come back. He's got to come back!" (Course, Andrew and Mom tell me it was more like grunting and moaning than coherently talking.) Nana passed my hand on to Andrew and then next thing I know the doc is telling me that if I would just start pushing I'd be out of pain as soon as the baby came. It was time and I am pretty sure I very clearly said, "YES! Let's do this!" Not more than a push and a half later, Axel entered the world at 1:14pm. And the doctor was right, the relief was instantaneous. It was awesome! To be scared to death one minute of all the pain you are in - to immediately return to normal with a precious 9 pounder on top of your chest. Breathtaking!

Oh - and did I mention Asa was in the room? Yep, he had been telling me for weeks (months, really) that he wanted to watch his baby brother come out of his Mommy's belly. I contemplated it for a short while, but deep down I knew he could handle it. And I thought it would be an experience of a lifetime for him. Of course, I had prepared him that it might hurt me just a little and he'd have to understand that I'd be fine. I told him if he got scared, it would be okay to ask Nana to take him outside in the hall. I had NO idea he'd witness me in that much pain. (I told the nurse I was her first unintentional natural delivery.) Still, Ace was determined to be a part of it. Andrew and Mom kept trying to get him to stand up by my head and watch from that angle, but oh no - the boy wanted the best seat in the house. I think he was shoulder-to-shoulder with the doctor. Asa watched the miracle of Axel's birth - and he never skipped a beat. He was the first to see his brother enter the world. I love that! And so does he!

The last six weeks have been both amazing and exhausting. The obvious hardship of sleep deprivation has taken it's toll, as well as the fact that I have a little one that decided rather quickly he preferred the bottle to the boob. So, not only have I been pumping, feeding, washing, sanitizing, diaper changing, etc. (you know the drill), but I've also been pondering a lot about our family - our very special and unique family - and that has been quite an emotional trip. Ariana has visited with her brothers a number of times in the last month and a half. She seems super inquisitive about the baby (and his car seat), but is fully in love with Ace (and his shenanigans that he so obviously puts on just for her). Watching them interact, I wonder how they will all be growing up... how they will engage with each other throughout their childhoods into adulthood... who they will be individually - and as siblings. I wonder how each of them will come to understand their family life and their personal roles in it. I wonder how the decisions I have made for them will effect their whole lives, their happiness, their joy, their sorrow, their pain. It's been a taxing thought process, but a necessary one. I suppose I'll be on this trip forever - wondering about the well-being of my kids. But then I suppose that is the same for every parent. So as much as I feel like no one could possibly understand, indeed I am not alone.

I have the best family, really. It goes without saying that Heather is by far the best Mom I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, let alone sharing my world with. And Jim couldn't be a more incredible Dad --- and playmate to the kids! :-) And, of course, Andrew does everything in his power on a daily basis to make my life as easy as possible. He's the best partner and friend I could ever ask for. I'm amazingly blessed. And, therefore, so are my children... and it shows. Asa is a very happy, well-adjusted, mature, and advanced (if I do say so myself) boy. Ariana is thriving with Jim and Heather - taking her first few unassisted steps in the last month and even beginning to potty train! She laughs at just about anything Asa does and, despite not talking, her eyes tell us she is an very happy girl. Axel is what the pediatrician calls "an early smiler." He's been giving us a big grin for weeks now. He coos with all of us and seems very ready to join this nut house... oops, I mean, the Zbeeb Zoo.

With all this love and happiness, I am constantly reminded of my blessings. I don't have a normal life, but I do have a joyful one. I'm very grateful. And now for your viewing pleasure...

Pictures of Axel in the hospital:

Pictures of Axel at home:

At last check up (1 month old), Axe was 11 lbs 1 oz. and "strong as an ox" during tummy time for the doc. We go back at 2 months for his first of many vaccinations. I'll do my best to post more often, but I won't be headed back to work until September. Until then, I plan to soak up every moment at home with this handsome little guy, the best little brother around.

Thanks to all of you for calling, writing, and visiting. We are so excited to welcome Axel to our family, to The A Team, and to the world!

Board Breaking Boy

Written by Melissa

Ace still loves his karate class - and has the skills to show for it. Here's a video (albeit not the best quality) showcasing how he can bust through a board with his elbow. Just in front of him is his buddy, Bijou, letting us know that girls can kick butt, too!

A Mama Jama Weekend

Written by Melissa

It was a Mother's Day weekend to remember. We started things right at the 57th Fighter Group restaurant celebrating sweet and special motherhood with Heather. Asa and Ariana decided it best to look the part and got all gussied up in their finest airplane headgear.

Heather and Asa teetered on the idea of going up, up, and away in the biplane, but decided it best to leave that adventure for another day... especially given that the "pilot" (see head poking out of plane) was having a wardrobe malfunction rendering him visually impaired, so much so he wasn't even in the cockpit.

 

We ended our excursion at the PDK playground and enjoyed our time together thoroughly. Noticeably absent was Jim, who unfortunately had to work, but Heather says it is a must that we return to show him all the fun that can be had - Ace and Ari agreed!

 

 

Our weekend was complete by taking Nana to brunch at Parker's on Ponce. Nana is such a HUGE help to us year round and we're lucky to have her on the team!

 

It was an awesome and happy Mother's Day weekend. We should celebrate motherhood more often!!



The Big 4-0!

Written by Heather

For about a month leading up to my birthday, I was getting phone calls from family saying they could not believe I was turning 40. Well I could not believe it either, but here it is. I am officially into my 5th decade of life, and I am feeling as young and healthy as ever. So bring it on! I will not be embarrassed to tell my age, maybe I will even get lucky enough to get carded here and there.

My turning 40 went something like this: Omelets for breakfast made by Jim; Our last Pony Talk at Green Acres Equestrian Center with Ari dressed as the hippie cowgirl; Afternoon tea at Tea Leaves and Thyme in downtown Woodstock, a highly recommended, delicious lunch; Some outdoor decorating while Ariana enjoyed a lengthy nap; Capped off by Italian cuisine with The A Team, Grandma and Grandpa. The weather could not have been more perfect, and I could not have been happier. For all the well wishes and love given, I am so thankful. Now I need to get working on the beautiful garden, I will very soon enjoy.

At 40, I have received gifts beyond my imagination and for which I am so undeserving. Thank you God for sustaining me thus far, and for all the blessings I have been given. I thank my friends, who have always been there, my family who supports me no matter what, and a husband who strengthens me and gives his all. I am thankful for and thank Ariana for giving me new life, a life I had always wished for. And I am so thankful for the family created around her. It has been an amazing and inspiring thing to be a part of. Mostly, I am thankful to finally have learned to appreciate today. To no longer dwell on the past or wish for the future, but just enjoy the here and now. With all my love-Heather

Easter Feast and Egg Hunt

Written by Melissa
Pictures by Heather and Marisa

We had a hoppin' good time at our annual Easter Egg Hunt this past weekend. We started with an amazingly delicious potluck lunch -- I really know how to summon the inner chef in everyone in order to provide fantastic food at my gatherings! :-) After we were all sufficiently full, the kids were whisked to the front porch while the Easter bunny worked his magic (on the weather and the eggs) in the backyard. The rain held off just long enough to enjoy the hunt and capture some great family photos.

Following the weekend, I thought about how different this Easter was for me than that of the year before. I was happy on both occasions to be surrounded by loved ones, but last Easter my heart was aching inside. My life was so different than my younger self had ever imagined it and I was learning how to live in my new world - the world that included unforeseen hardship and discomfort that time has taught me is just a part of being an adult! It was certainly hard then to watch the beauty and innocence of all the kids - the blissful ignorance they thankfully possess as little people - and, at the same time, to feel the reality of my adult life and to know my friends and family also had their own realities that they, too, were facing at the time. It was a tough Easter in 2013.

This year, I attended church on Sunday morning (something I couldn't bring myself to do last year). Pastor Michael said, "Easter is the holiday that changes EVERYTHING." Everything that was is no longer - everything that wasn't is so --- or at least, can be so. He is right. What I knew of life before past Easters is not what I know of life now. Still, I have learned there is peace in knowing that change, while scary, can be embraced and accepted and, eventually, truly enjoyed and loved.

This Easter my heart is very full. I am blessed to have the family I have - all six of us... and really, all 37 that attended our hunt on Saturday, as well numerous others that didn't. Happy Easter. Much love.

We Belong in the Zoo

Written by Melissa
Pictures by Melissa and Heather

It was a gorgeous Saturday and was made even more glorious by spending it together. The A Team decided to go wild in the Zoo. We saw lions, and tigers, and bears - oh my! Course, we couldn't leave without a ride on the carousel and train, as well as petting our favorite, more docile, four-legged friends. We finished up with some yummy barbeque, which left our bellies full and our eyes heavy! Naptime came shortly after for all. :-) The perfect Saturday, indeed.

  

 

 

Time for Cultivating

Written by Heather

This long, cold winter has been unexpected as we work to settle down in Georgia. But it was quite a way to remember the year we moved closer to so many loved ones. It has also made it abundantly clear that mommy needs to add something to the repertoire. Staying in from the cold and receiving direction and teaching is okay for an occasion, but for a prolonged period it seems to have led to stagnated growth.

We and Ariana have been working with our therapist to encourage greater strength for walking and plenty of repetition and games to encourage speech. However, she has become a bit more resistant to both of late. So it occurred to me, as with anything, a person has to want to do these things for herself. So, if you want someone to walk, provide a destination worth reaching. If you want someone to talk, give them something worth wanting to share. For Ariana to bloom, she needs to be cultivated. The occasional sprinkling of fertilizer just will not do for this rare beauty.

And therefore, I should not be a stay-at-home mom, but a get-out-and-go mom. Experiences with new opportunities to see and do are what we need. Today we resume Kindermusik once a week. We have also been heading out to story time at the library weekly and have completed some gymnastics classes. But because we are new to the area, any input for fun learning experiences are greatly welcome. We also look forward to welcoming visits from family in the area, to you, or to us.

We feel so blessed to have this wonderful opportunity to raise Ariana in such proximity to so many loved ones. For those not close by, we miss you and love you all, and hope we will be able to see you again soon.

Geography and Mariachi

Written by Melissa

This past weekend we took on a new park and Mexican restaurant with ease (and our trustee GPS systems!). Thanks to our newfound geographic closeness, The A Team can meet frequently and freely. Asa and Ariana enjoyed time together on the playground - Asa mostly having high expectations of his sister's ability to get around the play structures (following his lead, of course)... and Ari mostly wanting to sit back and relax and take in all of her brother's silliness. Under a nearby pavilion, a family was throwing a big bash where they were playing mariachi music, so we all quickly got in the mood for cheese dip and guacamole! We headed to a nearby Mexican restaurant and were surprisingly greeted and serenaded by a mariachi band of our own! The kids LOVED it - and by kids, I mean Ace, Ari, and Jim! :-) Enjoy the many pics.

 

 

Tang Soo!

Written by Melissa

Asa's first karate tournament was a real hit! He sparred in 2 matches and broke boards with his hands and feet. In his corner was the cutest cheerleader ever, Ariana, as well as two other friends, Bijou and Azzie. We took home a trophy, a medal, and great memories. Tang Soo!

 



R. Ellen Magenis

Written by Melissa

Dr. R. Ellen Magenis, who (along with Ann C. M. Smith) discovered the micro-deletion of the 17th chromosome that became known as the Smith-Magenis Syndrome (SMS), passed on Tuesday, February 4.

Her obituary can be found here. Upon reading it, I realize Dr. Magenis was remarkably brilliant and incredibly driven to be among the best in her field. As a woman of her time, she must have faced many challenges in her career, but her tenacity and dedication to helping others led to just as many successes.

From what I understand from the SMS community, Dr, Magenis was well loved and she committed much of her time to families struggling with the diagnosis of and care management for their children with SMS.

I wish I had met her. With her degree in zoology, I know Andrew would have loved her. I am grateful for her work. Without it, we would not have learned of Ariana's diagnosis so early in her life and, therefore, would not have built the village that will now be best prepared to care for her in the way she needs and deserves.

In my heart, I am still miserably saddened and terribly angry that Ari has SMS. I still desperately wish it didn't exist in her - or in any child for that matter. In my mind, though, I know that life has a way of shaking things up every once in a while. And that as long as we have OPEN hearts and OPEN minds, we can persevere through any challenge. That's what I hope The A Team is - Ari's perseverance, Asa's perseverance... my perseverance. 

It's a day of mourning for the passing of Dr. Magenis - and a reminder of my repeated mourning for the life I wished for my daughter and for the life I thought we'd have together as mother and daughter. Still, it is also a day of gratitude for the life and work of Dr. Magenis - the for the life that is Ariana's, as well as the creation of The A Team.

May days like today be filled with far more gratitude than grieving!