Thirty-Five

Written by Melissa

Today I am thirty-five years old. And when I woke up to post a message on Twitter of a rain location for an event at work, I learned of all the happenings of last evening. I was immediately alerted to the horror that Bostonians are living. I was then saddened by the fear they must be feeling. I spoke a bit with Andrew about what was going on. He quickly began to read for himself all about the manhunt that now ensues. Then Asa came downstairs, crawled in bed, and Andrew said, "Happy Birthday." I had forgotten all about it - and that's a first for me. Asa's eyes lit up, "It's your birthday, Mom. And I'm still not going to tell you about your surprise." He's been holding out on me for 24 hours. Pretty good for a four-year-old.

I've lived through a couple other tragic events that took place on my birthday. In 1993, the Waco seige concluded after 51 days as a fire (whose origin is controversial) engulfed the Mount Carmel Center ranch killing 76 - this after 4 ATF agents had been shot and killed in the attempts to arrest David Koresh. Two years later, citing the Waco incident as motivation, Timothy McVeigh detonated a truck full of explosives into a federal building in Oklahoma that killed 168 and wounded hundreds.

I've also now lived through my own personal tragedies, but none more impactful than this past year. I wouldn't wish this year on anyone I love or even those I don't. But with all tragedies, as Andrew would say, "you gotta see the silver lining."

For Boston, the silver lining was the amazing folks that rushed to help those that were down from the blast on Monday and the diligent police work that has already led to the identity of the bombers. For me, the silver lining is the amazing folks that have rushed to me when I have been down. This birthday is not really about me. It's about the awesomeness that is my family. And my family is far more than the one I was born into. It's the chosen ones - those that I chose and those that chose me. This past year was hard, but it was also precious. My family grew - in number and in love. In my loss, I also gained many remarkable people that I now call family - Ariana's parents, Ariana's grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, and friends. And in my loss, I also gained stronger bonds and deeper connections with the people who I already called my family - my husband, my children, my parents, my brothers, my sisters-in-law, etc., and my friends/sisters-at-heart.

Today, I am thirty-five years old. And despite (or maybe in spite of) all tragedies, I can still see the silver lining. I am thankful for that. Happy birthday to me.